I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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