When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
