maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
