at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
