the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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