Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
