so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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