i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
