And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
