Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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