if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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