I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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