We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I want to have your abortion
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
