STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
