problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
