in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
