Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
