Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
