just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
