yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he shaved USA in his pubs
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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