Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
two words: eviction party
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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