We're like a lot better than the average bears
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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