even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
