Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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