dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I think my moral compass just broke
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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