What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
