so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
