We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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