we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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