Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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