the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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