Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
