Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
