he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
