I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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