do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
