We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
try to milk me bitch
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