its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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