I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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