i permit you to call me
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
