Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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