i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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