I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Of course I have a pirate flag
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
