I need to stop coming to work sober
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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