I'm gonna have a badass scar
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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