Your tits are I can't wait for
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
