He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
