im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just high enough for therapy.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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