I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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