My hand turned me down
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
