he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
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